Tales From the Hard Luck Cafe
by LuipaardJack
Summary: These are all the things the members of Section 9 will never do. AU vignette anthology. IV: Pazu starts making it up to Togusa. Gen.
1. Rehashing the Facts

**Title**: Rehashing the Facts

**Pairing(s)**: Togusa/Meijiro

**Genre**: Alternate Universe

* * *

"What's that?" 

Togusa pulled off his shoes and arched his back forwards, kneading his spine with his fists. _God, I'm tired._ "What's what?"

Meijiro gestured with her wooden spoon at his jacket. "That paper in your pocket." She then continued to stir inside her pot.

"Oh. That." Togusa pulled it out, frowning. "It's a letter of request from Mr. Aramaki Daisuke to join..." he unfolded it and flourished, "_Public Security Section 9."_

Mei raised her eyebrows. "Bit of a mouthful, isn't it?"

Her husband crossed the floor to the stove making noises of agreement as their daughter squealed with delight upon seeing that her father was home.

Once Togusa had managed to pry her off his leg, he returned to the subject. "It seems to be a government run black-op. Very secretive, very shady." He shooed Shiori back to the living room. Meijiro leaned over and plucked the paper out of his hand.

"Anti-cyber-terrorism unit, huh?" She shook her head. "No offense, but I don't think you'd be much help in that area. Now, if they wanted something stolen..."

Togusa smiled a little. "That's what I told Major Kusanagi. But she kept on insisting that I'd be able to do it, if I'd just have the courage to...'pluck myself out of the rut.'"

Meijiro burst out laughing. Togusa raised his voice over her guffaws. "She was pretty interesting! She kept on talking about how if I _really_ wanted some excitement, I ought to be willing to branch out and try new things --"

This only made her laugh harder. The idea that her husband wanted _more_ excitement in his life was simply too ridiculous.(1)

Once she had calmed down, he continued. "She had full prosthetic body, too. You don't see too many of those."

"How were you able to tell?" Meijiro chortled, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Breasts that large don't get so perky with a waist that small, without one."

That wiped the smile off of her face. "And what," she asked flatly, "Were you doing _looking_?"

"I couldn't not; she kept on shoving them in my face!"

His wife did not look impressed by this argument. Togusa pushed onwards hastily. "Apparently the rest of her team is the same. They're at least twenty-five percent artificial."

"That would be hard for you to keep up with..."

"It would, indeed."

Togusa took the paper back from her. He studied it carefully.

"So...are you going to join?"

His answer was ready. He'd decided on his way home.

"No way."

"_What?"_

Togusa resolutely ripped the paper into tiny shreds and threw it into the trash. "It sounds like they have to fly under the radar to get anything done. I'm not interested in being a vigilante -- not anymore. Besides, I love my job. I have good friends at the force. What kind of a lunatic would give that up?" The question was rhetorical, but also not. He smiled at her a little. Then he sniffed the air. "Is something burning?"

With a cry of horror, Meijiro sprang on the forgotten pot, which was belching out oily looking smoke. Her husband chuckled and went to set the table.

* * *

**(1) C'mon, the man has two kids and a wife to look after, and a full-time job that could get him killed!**


	2. Married Couples

**I think I might have given people some misconceptions. The chapters are all separate, stand-alone, AU drabbles/short stories that can only belong in a collection such as this. Sorry for the confusion!**

**

* * *

**

**Title**: Married Couples

**Pairing(s)**: Batou/Togusa, Kuze/Motoko

**Genre**: Romance, angst.

**

* * *

**

He showed up at Motoko's wedding reception dressed in dark brown leather. The red motorcycle in the main parking lot explaining his unusual attire, Togusa came in quietly through the side door.

The party was in full swing when he entered. Kuze and Motoko were dancing up a storm in the middle of the exuberant floor. Togusa didn't pay them much attention. Instead, he searched the room thoroughly with his piercing gold eyes, and frowned when he realized that the person he wanted wasn't there.

Tucking his helmet more securely under his arm, he left the way he came before anyone could notice him.

* * *

The heavy _thunk_ of motorcycle boots, no matter how faint, was still familiar enough to Batou to make him look up hopefully. But he knew it wouldn't be who he wanted; it never was.

Perched on the hood of his car, he flicked the cigarette in his right hand because he wanted to watch the sparks fly. He knew that his new habit, while not harmful to himself personally, was disgusting, which was why he'd taken it up in the first place. That way, he would have a tangible excuse to explain why he felt so awful.

He looked down at the cellophane wrapped package he clutched in his opposite grip and grimaced. _My only vice, and I don't even enjoy it._

That was odd. The motorcycle boot-steps weren't fading away. They were getting a bit closer. Batou sighed and hunched his shoulders in his flight jacket. He hadn't bothered to dress nicely. He didn't bother with a lot of things, these days; manners, for example.

But he didn't feel like being an asshole right now, even to chase away a new visitor. Why did everyone and their dog feel that he was obligated to go back in? He didn't want to be here at Motoko's party. All the trouble in his adult life was because of her.

_That's not true,_ the reasonable corner of his mind admonished. _Togusa decided to leave you of his own accord. That's hardly her fault._

Batou flicked the cigarette to watch the sparks fly again before tossing it onto the concrete-covered ground. And still, the achingly familiar _thunks_ drew closer.

Motorcycle boots. Why was he always tortured with motorcycle boots? Or the motorcycles themselves, for that matter? Had Togusa done what he had always jokingly threatened to do, and put a curse on Batou's head?

If Batou had been one to believe in magic, then he would have given the thought some serious consideration; because if there was anyone in the world that would have access to such things, it would be Togusa.

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

Batou scowled at the ground and lit another stick, even though he knew it was useless.

All of it, useless. Useless, trying to use the addiction as an escape. Useless, trying to escape from the memories, when the apartment was filled with them; trying not to think about the man that he shared them with, because Batou was still utterly besotted with him.

Speaking of, he could have sworn he'd heard the detective's engine a few minutes ago. And now the tromping of the boots. Had his pining finally caused a meltdown in his reality-matrix?

He blew out a lungful of smoke. The footsteps were merely yards away now. Whoever it was would be seeing him soon -- provided the person really existed. If he did exist, Batou pitied the fool almost as much as he pitied himself.

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

_Tump. _

Judging from the sound, the idiot was only a few feet away, and had stopped to stare. Batou shifted on the hood of the car and looked at the ground so he wouldn't have to glance up at the bothersome person's face. "You know, I'm not really in the mood for the party," he said. "Why don't you leave while your ego is still intact?"

The voice that replied was familiarly cool. "Good thing I'm not here to make you go back, then."

Batou couldn't breathe. His head snapped up. Faintly, he said, "Togusa."

* * *

Now that he was here, Togusa wasn't quite sure what he would do. Honestly, what kind of a madman based his impulses on six months of a purely sexual relationship and another year of celibate, desire-drenched memory?

_Madmen like me, apparently. _

Not bothering to ask for his ex-lover's permission, Togusa hopped up next to him on the hood of the car, balancing his helmet on his knee. He realized that he couldn't look at Batou right then. "I miss you," he said without ado. Might as well get out in the open.

Beside him, Batou jerked. Obviously, not what he had been expecting.

Tough nuggets.

"You...what?"

"Miss you. Miss us."

Breathe deeply. Exhale. Amazingly enough, he hadn't dropped dead from embarrassment.

"Close your mouth, Batou."

There was a sharp click next to him. Then, silence. Intolerable.

But then Togusa remembered that it was his inability to tolerate such silence that had been the lead-in to this entire problem, and he choked back his protests.

* * *

Batou was still finding it almost impossible to breathe. He sucked in air at odd intervals and let it out in ragged wheezes.

Togusa was here. Right here, right next to him.

He looked the same. He looked better than the same. Gorgeous. Eatable. It should be illegal for some one to look that good, dressed like that.

But Togusa also looked tired. The ever-present circles under his eyes were darker and deeper, and there were new lines at the corners of his eyes. His hair was longer and shaggier -- very different from what Batou was used to.

Batou realized that he was finally breathing normally. Thank God. And even better; he knew what he wanted to do.

He didn't wait for Togusa's permission. He simply leaned over, grabbed the back of the natural man's head with both hands, and kissed him as hard as he could.

Togusa's reaction was gratifyingly immediate. He slipped his right arm around Batou's neck and leaned into him as his left hand settled on the cyborg's spine, his tongue stroking and caressing. He let Batou push him down onto the car-hood, which sent his helmet tumbling to the ground. Neither of them noticed.

Finally, they had to break apart to breathe. Togusa laid his cheek on the cool metal underneath him as Batou entwined his fingers further into ginger-brown hair.

"Does this mean we don't have to talk about it?" Batou asked hopefully.

Togusa leaned up to plant kisses on his neck. "No such luck."

Batou sighed and nestled kisses of his own on the back of Togusa's neck. "I vote we leave."

"Agreed. Ahhh..."


	3. History of an Assassin

**Title**: History of an Assassin

**Pairing(s)**: none

**Genre**: Alternate Universe

---------------------

_Deep into a dying day  
I took a step outside an innocent heart  
Prepare to hate me, fall when I may  
This night will hurt you like never before_

_Old loves they die hard  
Old lies they die harder_

_I wish I had an angel  
For one moment of love  
I wish I had your angel  
Your Virgin Mary undone  
I'm in love with my lust  
Burning angel wings to dust  
I wish I had your angel tonight _

-- "Wish I Had an Angel" Nightwish

---------------------

The pipe, Batou now realized, had been a mistake. This revelation was coming too late, however; Kuze was already stabbing it into his shoulder. _There goes that part,_ the combat cyborg thought despairingly as the metallic bits crunched.

Kuze stepped back to admire his handiwork. "Now then," he began.

Two gunshots interrupted him; the first caught his attention by landing harmlessly in the muddy slope while the second planted a large hole in his torso. When he turned to see who was shooting at him, it was too late. Togusa had been running as he was shooting, and using the slope and gravity to increase his momentum, hit the bottom in a roll just as Kuze turned. Coming to an upright stop in front of his legs, Togusa didn't bother to straighten; instead, he leaned to one side and swept his left leg to the right, knocking the cyborg off his feet. Then he swung his entire body in the opposite direction, smashing his reverse heel into Kuze's temple.

Kuze went down and didn't move; he seemed stunned.

Togusa didn't pause to check. Righting himself, he went to Batou's side and pulled on the pipe sticking out of his shoulder. "Where else are you hurt?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"My -- nngh -- leg's broken -- vindictive bastard --"

There was a squeal of metal and the pipe fell to the ground. Togusa grasped Batou's uninjured arm and made to shoulder it. Then he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

Togusa whirled around. Kuze first punched him in the jaw to stun him, and then in the stomach, catching him as he dropped. He had already grabbed the pipe in his other hand, and smashed the end into Batou's uninjured shoulder.

Batou choked and scrabbled at the green metal, but Kuze swiftly bent it and punched the other end into his stomach. Batou was once again pinned to the wall.

"You're a good fighter," he said, the solemn, eerie way that was made even creepier by the fact that his mouth didn't move. "You were part of the Rangers, weren't you?"

Batou wasn't listening. "Put Togusa down you bastard!"

"No." The PKF cyborg shouldered his human cargo. "I think I'll keep him as payment."

"Wha -- payment for _what_?"

Kuze took Batou's knife and sheathed it. "I might return him." Coolly, he made his way up the slope.

"YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH! GET BACK HERE! LET HIM GO!"

---------------------

"Where's Batou?"

Major's shout tore through the noise produced from the enemy tank's explosion. The abandoned Tachikoma pointed. "He went down that way! And Major -- Mr. Togusa ran after him just a couple minutes ago! But I thought he was with you!"

She skidded to a stop. "_Togusa came by?_"

"Yeah! He only stopped to ask me which way Mr. Batou went -- I nearly got crushed telling him!"

Motoko took off down the tunnel. Togusa had been on the tiltrotor with her -- _had_ been there when she left, she was sure of it! She'd glimpsed him just as she leapt off!

So had it really been him...or had the Tachikoma been hacked for information, and it had been an illusion to distract?

She pushed the problem away. It would have to be resolved later; right now, Batou was the top priority.

Motoko came out into a brightly lit chamber with another tunnel and train track on the opposite side of the room. Grunts of pain from a shallow pit caught her attention. She slid down the slope and saw Batou. He was in bad shape, with a bent pipe through his shoulder and stomach. There was another hole in his opposite shoulder, and his leg was twisted in an unnatural direction.

"I'm fine," he grated before she could open her mouth. "But _he_ took Togusa!"

That was all she needed to hear.

---------------------

Kuze's captive was very light.

He marveled over this as he bolted to the ship waiting for him. It didn't make much sense; no matter how thin he was, Togusa was still 5' 10". He ought to be heavier than this.

One of the men, seeing his approach, waved. Then he saw what Kuze was carrying.

"What's going on?" he asked as soon as Kuze was in hailing range.

Kuze jumped onto the boat and shook his head. "There's no time to explain." He set Togusa down on the far side of the boat. "Find some rope, and tie him up. Then post a guard on him. He's dangerous the moment he opens his eyes."

The man looked doubtful, but before he could say anything Kuze asked him where the boy was.

He sighed and shook his head. "No idea. Just up and left. He had an odd look on his face though."

"Really?... Well, then." Kuze sighed and closed his eyes. He hated to admit it, but the boy's tactics _were_ effective.

_But why does he feel he must die? _

"Alright -- we have to leave, now!" The order carried over the entire ship. The engine started seconds later. Kuze jumped off the side and cast off one of the leads and tossed it on the deck. "Use this to tie him."

---------------------

They were just finishing casting off when she arrived. Motoko almost started firing -- but then she saw Togusa tied down, and the majority of the crew was around him. She couldn't take them all out without hitting him, not when they were gathered like that.

They did not have any qualms about shooting at her, however. She had to dive into the water to keep from being hit by bullets and grenade launcher. Since she was so heavy, she sank like a rock.

Cursing wildly in her own head, she struggled to stay near the surface. A mass of bubbles on her left let her know that the boat was gone.

Somehow, she kicked to the surface. The squeal of a Tachikoma made it to her ears before she went under again.

"_Get me a line,"_ she snarled.

A wire obediently appeared near her. She grasped it and let the last of her precious air escape in a bubbly sigh as the Tachikoma reeled her in. Batou would not be pleased.

---------------------

Kuze bent down and prodded the cases suspiciously before taking one and opened it. True, there was a canister...

Taped to the inside were bars of lead.

---------------------

The crew had done a very efficient job of tying up his prisoner. Togusa's wrists had been tied up onto the rail of the ship, while his legs had been pinioned together at his thighs and calves.

Kuze sat down beside him. He could afford to wait, now that he had struck gold.

Fortunately he didn't have to. Togusa's eyelids were soon fluttering as he slowly came around.

Then suddenly he jerked violently, swearing foully as he discovered his bonds.

"Do you kiss your wife with that mouth?" Kuze asked.

Togusa snarled something unintelligible and threw himself against the ropes.

"Calm down. I'm not going to do anything to you, but you have to realize that I couldn't possibly let you of all people run around unsupervised."

Togusa glared savagely at him. "What do you want," he snarled.

"To talk."

This did not impress the man. Kuze amended his statement. "Rather, I tell you a story, and you listen. And then maybe you can fill in some of the blanks for me."

"I don't really have a choice," Togusa said irritably, jerking his bound wrists.

"That is where you're wrong. We always have a choice. Some options might not be as favorable as others, but we always have a choice... Anyway, to start.

In the month of January of the year 2020, there was a small commotion in New Tokyo. One of the more prominent yakuza bosses had been killed. It was a large shock, but it passed quickly, and life resumed its normal flow."

"If you can call that a flow," Togusa muttered darkly.

"New Tokyo is depraved," Kuze agreed. "But perhaps that is how the force I speak of came into being.

For two months, things were quiet. The death was regarded as a freak incident and forgotten. But then there were two more deaths, similar in fashion to the first and some began to wonder.

Their fears were confirmed. Soon there were murders all across the country -- some on opposite sides of the land and impossibly occurring in the same night. It came to be believed that the perpetrator was in possession of supernatural abilities. And as to the identity of the character, there was no doubt."

"An assassin," Togusa murmured. "_The_ assassin. The one that all the others try to copy -- and fail."

"It is as you say. Luipaard. Dutch: leopard. The most dangerous and resourceful of the wildcats, second only to the jaguar. The man possesses the same perilous nature."

"Perhaps. But what can I possibly tell you?"

"I haven't gotten to that point yet. No one knows how Luipaard got his name, but it stuck. By October of his debut year, he had the entire underworld in his power. Everyone knew what they could and could not do, and no one dared step over the line. Even now, if you were to mention his name, you would see the fear in the eyes of the right people.

In the middle of the year of 2024 though, everything changed. Luipaard disappeared from the city of New Tokyo, where he had been living. The proof was his naginata, which had been found spearing one of the most rebellious brutes in the city to the side of a derelict building.

Shortly before he left, there were some whispers that he had gained a woman and fallen in love. Then when he left, it was attributed to his wanting to care for the lady. It's the popular theory to explain his vanishing, though I doubt it's true. What was that?"

Togusa grinned at him. "I said, 'hah!'"

"Hmph. Well, you know the rest. Luipaard faded into the background, New Tokyo descended into anarchy, and the crime world has since run out of similar control." (1)

"Most certainly. What can I tell you?"

"You can tell me what happened to him after he left."

"How should I know?"

Kuze looked at him steadily. Togusa's lips thinned. "I can't tell you. I don't know."

"Can't? Or won't?"

"Can't, because I don't _know_," Togusa snapped. "And for your information, I _will_ be getting back to Section 9, one way or another. They'll want to check me over to make sure you didn't do anything. This might also entail looking at my memories."

"You --"

"We would both find it...inconvenient...if I were made to testify." Togusa's intense gaze was not a glare, but it was borderline. To ease the tension, he said in a milder voice, "I can't imagine why you would want information on a psychotic murderer like that one."

"If I knew more about him...then I might be able to approach him."

"What for?"

"I want him on my side."

Togusa stared.

"If I could have his support, than it would open several doors to me," Kuze explained. "Many...people...that have repeatedly tried to hinder me would no longer do so."

"I refuse to believe that's your only reason."

"It's not. I would be able to get recognition and support from various organizations in other countries, get the...resources I need to order my affairs. (2) Luipaard's name _is_ known to the rest of the world, though he isn't as feared. There are some who have wanted to challenge him as well. As I understand it, an assassin codenamed Fem hired by the South Chinese mafia came here two years ago, planning to carry out a job and then hunt him down." (3)

Togusa's mouth dropped open. His bound wrists, which he had been surreptitiously trying to worm out of the ropes, went limp.

"You know the name."

"We arrested her!"

"Really?" Kuze's expression did not change, but the tone of his voice became one of interest.

"Yes, she was going to assassinate an investor..."

"And it ended up that she was unable to get the fight she wanted."

"Apparently." Togusa frowned at the deck underneath him. Then he shook his head and pushed the thought away. "Hey...when do you let me go?"

"Hm?"

" Me. Leaving. When?"

"Why would I let you go?"

"Because I'm useless to you. Because my team will arrive like a band of locusts and kill you. Because I'll pummel you if you don't." (4)

---------------------

Togusa's locator only showed up when he was three yards from the building entrance. Some of his teammates managed to get down to the first floor and out through the entrance just as he was about to come in, crowding around him.

"You dumbass," Batou scolded, bopping the top of his head. "You let yourself get carried off!"

"Major's pissed," Saito said bluntly.

"Did you bring anything back?" Boma asked.

Togusa smiled. He wasn't pretty; a thin growth of beard filmed across his lower face, and he was encrusted with sea salt. There was also a bruise along his jaw where Kuze had punched him. But his eyes were happy. "I know I'm a dumbass, Major's PMSing again, and I didn't bring a souvenir. Sorry."

* * *

**(1) Kuze is hard! He speaks so formally; it's pleasing to the ear, but it's so difficult to write! I think that he and Togusa would be two people who would have connected very well, so it's a pity that they never got to talk to each other. Togusa might not have been able to understand Kuze's reasons for doing what he did, but he _would_ understand that Kuze was trying to save everyone and would have also been able to understand his passion and drive. Unlike Major, who has never experienced such a thing... (Uh-oh. I'd better get off this before I start lecturing on the differences between humans and cyborgs.) **

**(2) He of course means the memory space for the refugees. **

**(3) I LOVE continuity! **

**(4) _Ice Age_ was a great movie. **

**I was planning to do have Section 9 interrogate him at the end, but now it just seems like too much effort... **


	4. My Brother's Keeper

**Whoa! I updated this anthology!**

**R & R peeps. **

* * *

Out of all the members of Section 9, Pazu was the only one that hadn't visited Togusa at the hospital.

The knowledge made him feel him terrible, but he didn't think he would be able to stand seeing the natural man limp and unmoving in the hospital bed, hooked up to God knew what kind of apparatus. Togusa had been in a coma for two years and he showed no signs of waking up. Pazu wasn't sure if he could face the true physical evidence.

But then what was he doing here?

Pazu parked his car and leaned back in his seat. For the first time in a long time, he wished he hadn't given up smoking. But Togusa had always hated the habit, so after the accident, Pazu gave it up.

He gripped the leather-wrapped wheel in his hands. It squeaked softly as his hands tightened, relaxed, and tightened again.

In reality, he knew the answer to his silent question.

Around three o' clock that morning, he had woken up feeling hungry. So naturally, he went to the kitchen to get something to eat. And while he was looking for food in the pantry he already knew was empty, he got tired of himself.

He got tired of the fact that he was lonely. He got tired of not allowing himself to say what he wanted to say. He got tired of his one special talent -- of locking himself up in a little box, and waiting.

It was such a sad thing to be good at.

So because he was tired of himself, he decided once and for all that he was going to visit Togusa in the hospital. And...

He thought that maybe, if Togusa knew he had finally come, he might start getting...better. Not immediately, but...

This idea had only lurched out of Pazu's thought-process because of two-and-a-half hours of sleep as well as too much coffee.

But he knew he should stop wasting time. He got out of the car, and headed to the hospital entrance.

---------------------

He had the room number memorized. Togusa had been placed in a secluded, little-visited corner of the hospital; standing outside of it now, Pazu could feel his resolve weakening.

_You came all this way,_ he thought to himself furiously. _You can't back out now._

_Watch me,_ the cowardly part of him replied.

Instead of running, he gritted his teeth and opened the door.

Naturally, it was quiet inside. The soft whirring of the EEG-monitor was all that interrupted the silence. A window with open shades faced the east, letting in the early morning sunlight, casting a golden rhombus on the floor, just at the foot of the bed. Pazu felt his throat fill. Togusa had always loved sunrises.

But he couldn't make himself look at the bed, at its occupant. He had managed to drag himself to the hospital and into the room, but he couldn't look at his own brother.


End file.
